ROMANCE

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ROMANCE

Part of my short term plan was to live with my mom for about six months until I am able to find a job which would enable me to move into my own apartment. Although it’s been over eight months since my release my short term plan is coming together for the most part. I also wanted to meet a woman that I would be compatible with.  While I’ve been on a few dates, it took me more time than I expected to feel comfortable  around women I believe because of my having no experience with a woman.  It took some time to find someone to connect with.  At one point, I began to question myself in terms of whether prison had damaged me to the extent that I would not be able to have much of a social life with women.

Shortly after my release, I had a conversation about dating with my friend Robbie. I had talked to her about wanting to meet a woman who I could establish a long term relationship with. I didn’t want to live a lifestyle of dating more than one woman. I believed that that time had passed me by so I was perfectly fine with dating one woman. I’m approaching mid-life so I’m looking forward to living a simple but productive and enjoyable life. Robbie suggested that I take a look at the dating site Tinder.  I initially found Tinder to be a waste of time. Eventually, I matched with a few women, but nothing developed further than just conversation. My Tinder fortune changed on May 16^th when I met Valerie. After a couple of weeks of learning about each other; first by messaging, and then by telephone, Valerie and I realized that we had some things in common. Both Valerie and I had experienced difficult periods in our lives that could have affected us in terrible ways. I offered to meet her over a cup of tea which she accepted. I invited her out for dinner at my favorite Thai food restaurant.  What I appreciated most about that first date was the conversation we had while sitting across from this beautiful woman who seemed impressed by the moment. It seemed as though Valerie had not been in such an environment in quite a while. I was truly happy that she was happy and that she was impressed with the food. After dinner, Valerie and I took a long walk from the restaurant to Times Square where we took in the nightlife.  We really enjoyed the walk which allowed us to resume our conversation. We ended the date agreeing to see each other again.

During my incarceration, I had conversations with guys who claimed they would never date a woman with kids. Well, Valerie has two young children who I had the pleasure of meeting. Dating a woman with children, particularly young children, could be an interesting situation because there are a few things that must come together in order for the relationship to mature effectively. I made the decision not  to judge or penalize Valerie for having children. It was important for me to be open-minded about the situation. I was not surprised that her children and I hit it off immediately. Although I get along fine with her children, and they are warming up to me, I feel that I am gradually gaining their trust. Nevertheless, I’m not naïve enough to believe that everything is fine. There are issues that Valerie and I need to resolve but I am comfortable with the direction our relationship is heading.