MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH TORONTO

                                   ENTRY THREE: MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH TORONTO

Going to Toronto, Ontario, Canada was my first time ever on a plane. I was not afraid but a little nervous. I had heard so many stories from friends who would visit me or talk to me on the phone about their travels that I could not wait to experience traveling for myself. These friends had spent so much time telling me about their travels that I felt like, when I get the opportunity, I’m not going to have time to be afraid about getting on an airplane. I was just going to enjoy the experience. The plane flight to Toronto was very short. It’s almost like they exaggerate the time to prevent complaints from passengers should the flight not arrive on time. I immediately felt the energy of Toronto and liked being there very much. I felt like I knew the city, because of my many conversations with so many people from Toronto. I found the people I met to be warm and welcoming.

Before going to Toronto, I had spoken at Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, Connecticut, as well as at the Essex County Juvenile Detention Center  in Newark, New Jersey.  It prepared me for the kind of speaking I did in Toronto, talking to the media (CBC’s The Current with Anna Maria Tremonti) and with a group of at-risk youth at an organization called Peacebuilders, a restorative justice program designed to keep kids out of prison. This was a brief trip, and I stayed with the Stuart/Kingsmill family, Ray Klonsky’s in-laws. They were amazingly generous with their time and space, especially since Dorion Kingsmill was recovering from a serious bike accident.

During my second trip to Toronto in March 2015, the reedited film, “David and Me” was brought back to the Bloor Cinema by the Hot Docs festival, where the old version had played in April of 2014. Hot Docs put me up for four days at the Park Hyatt Hotel in downtown Toronto. The hotel was the first time since my release, actually since I was a child, where I found peace and quiet. In fact, it was so quiet there that I became paranoid thinking that someone was inside the room with me. The room was equipped with a mini bar, but I did not order anything, informed by friends how expensive it would be. I did not do anything inside the hotel but sleep and watch TV, not even ordering room service, even though I was tempted to. Walking in and out of the Park Hyatt gave me an idea of what it would be like to have my own place, albeit an expensive one. On the day of check-out, I left the maid a generous tip at the advice of Ken Klonsky. I had no idea that that is what people do upon leaving a hotel. There are many lessons that I have already learned during the first six months of my release and I’m sure there will be much more to learn.

The film is about my wrongful conviction and my relationship with a young Canadian man, Ray Klonsky. Although the film was first shown last April in Toronto at the Hot Docs Festival and two months later in New York at the Manhattan Film Festival, my trip to Toronto was the first time I got to see the film. I resisted a previous opportunity to watch the film while I was still incarcerated (my lawyer, Oscar Michelen would have shown it to me on a laptop) because I didn’t think a prison would be the right place to see it. I’m glad I waited to see it in Toronto as a free man. Watching the film in March, 2015, for the first time with those people in Toronto in some ways brought my life full circle. That is because in 2004, when I first met Ken Klonsky, Ray’s dad, and Rubin Carter, both living in Toronto at the time, my life, to all intents and purposes, changed forever. The film played twice to full houses. The first was a showing for Hot Docs members, the second for the full public.

Watching the film for the first time was emotional for me because I got to see all those people on screen who played a important roles in helping me get out of prison. I also remembered those times when I thought the film wasn’t going to happen. One of the biggest thrills for me was watching my family on the screen because they were my main source of inspiration during my time in prison, particularly my mom who believed in my innocence from the moment I was allowed to speak to her about the situation. I could not have been more proud of my family, watching and listening to them talk about me on screen. I felt both a sense of happiness and sadness. I would say that walking out of the courtroom and into the hands of my then 12 year old niece and my mom was the most emotional I have ever felt without actually shedding a tear. The moment in the film when I talk, kiss, and hug my sister Ella was overwhelming, because I had not seen my sister since the time I was incarcerated and often thought of her during my darkest times in prison.

When I was introduced to the audience and walked up to the stage, I had trouble breathing. Although I had prepared for the moment in my mind, I hadn’t anticipated what it would feel like. To finally come on stage and talk to the audience was a moment that I will never forget. Once I got up on the stage and felt the love from the large audience, I was able to answer questions, many about my life in prison and how I could have spent twenty-nine years wrongly incarcerated and not feel bitter and angry. I told them that anger and bitterness only hurt the person expressing the emotion and would waste whatever time I have left on this earth. I still feel goose bumps from the standing ovation I received. It seemed to go on for several minutes, clearly a moment that I will never forget.

Being interviewed on stage in front of 700 people confirmed that I was prepared to talk in front of an audience; I had no idea that it would be so many people. Not only did I enjoy being interviewed by Steve Paikin of TVO, I also enjoyed the interaction with the audience during the Q&A. Actually, the Q&A was my opportunity to speak more in depth about my appreciation for the love and support shown by so many people in Toronto. Being able to survey the audience of 700 people, both on floor level and in the balcony, made me feel like a celebrity. Also on stage being interviewed were the co-directors of the film Ray Klonsky and Marc Lamy. Both men’s presence on stage allowed me to feel comfortable and to answer questions.

On the night that fell between the two showings of the film, I was given a big reception at the Soho House in Toronto. I met many of the people who supported me during my time in prison and others who contributed to a large fund that gave me a soft landing when I left the prison. I was introduced to these people by Ken Klonsky and received a very warm welcome. One could literally hear a pin drop when I spoke to everyone there; it seemed like the room was hanging on my every word. I thanked them for all they did on my behalf. I met a number of these people during my first visit to Toronto and knew that they were aware of my story. I saw Alonzo Starling for the first time in nearly ten years when, as the Chief of Staff at Innocence International, he came along with Rubin “Hurricane” Carter and Ken to Eastern Correctional Facility to visit me. He is a big warm bear of a man.

Unfortunately, I did not get to experience Toronto in the way that I wanted because I simply did not have the time with all the interviews and other obligations.  But I promised myself that the next time I visit Toronto, I am going to make sure that I take an extensive tour of the city. I have a love affair with Toronto which was evident after I left Toronto to come home. Both times after leaving Toronto I felt a sense of sadness, as if I was leaving home, as opposed to coming home. The way I was treated there made me feel that those people had been waiting to see me as long as I had waited to see them.

I flew back to Toronto on March 25^th in order to fly to California for the Sebastopol Film Festival in Sonoma, CA. I often dreamed as a child of going to California but thought that I would never get the opportunity. I’ll write about that experience in an upcoming entry.